me and some friends had an idea of this open space which would be a miniature version of what we want the world to be.the following is a collection of my thoughts on the same.
what exactly do we want the world to be?
we have lot s of ideas.. lots of views... lots of things should not be what it is.. we would love it if it were otherwise..we want love, harmony, peace, brotherhood,ecologicaly sound community,less exploitation of anything, or may be none at all..etc..
but do we know how all this, when put in to the complex relationship existin in the wolrd, what the big picture will look like?
how one action would affect the other and so on and so forth??
when we are talkin in terms of realationships, the complexity existin, everywhere,its impossible to say how the bigger picture is changed by one action of ours.
now we have a whole list of things that we want to be done or not done(which is how a we come to the conclusion of what we want the world to be )like, for instance, when we say it shoud be more ecologicaly sound or there should be peace and no war or no capital punishment... we are talkin about either doin or not doin somethin...this will alter the bigger picture...which i hope will be something with less sufferin in it.
my meger brain capacities do not allow me to see the bigger picture in the case when all the parameters i want to change in the world happens.. so when i dont see the bigger picture,it would merely be stupidity on my part to even imagine what the miniature version will look like.
the first thing i did was question myself "what i want the world to be" felt very stupid doin the same..seemed as though m too small a fragment in this world,even to think of what i want the whole world to be.. but then, i do have all these views on a lot of things that are fundemental to our lives..now this is an ironical situation...there are all these things i want changed in this world and m qite alound in my opnions, m feelin that not the one to think of how i want the world to be...puttin away this inhibition, i tried think what i want it to be...soon i realised, even though i can say, this should be done ,that should not be done, i could not come up with a complete picture as to how the world will function, as a whole, in case everythin i said was done, cos, its too complex and my mind was too little to fathom how the dynamics will work out...
tracin back to my initial inhibition, i realized, its due to my incapacity to predict,since its a complex structure of probablities.
now, thinkin further, i had to admit that it was too much to ask of someone who can bearly grasp the complexity of the present day world..so, it was not such a big surprise, only that it took me some time to realise that..
but then,wait a minute..may be its my approach thats wrong here..may be thats whats troublin me..
when i was told that the center can be all that we want the world to be,...i try to get a big picture and then make a miniature of it...and i could not do it...thats what the trouble was!! it was perception of it...may be, i should start from the small picture instead.may be it can lead me to the bigger one.
the parameters that i want altered ..it can be applied in to this dynamic miniature environment, that we have created and the miniature picture can be studied.. to know how it looks like, do we like the picture? is it possible? or will it not become a whole picture at all...if the mini-model does not work, then is there any chance for the real thing to work??
how does the dynamics of ,realtionships, ideas and their products, the actions that we do ,etc, work out?
yes.. a very interestin idea.infact, a very necessary one because...now there are two kinds of rat races..one kind of rats are the ones running because everyone else s running and they need to run to survive the othe kind are the ones who run to save the world.. amist all these pple who are runnin... its very necessary for pple to slow down and question whats goin on..what are we fightin for? whats the ultimate goal?
and, here,by no means m i tryin to undermine the efforts of the pple who are tryin to, in their own way,lessen sufferin in this world.. if not for the pple who runnin the race againt time to save the world, there would have be no time at all for anyone to even think how the bigger picture looks like, all will be runnin to save their own asses.
but now, since we have time and theres hope that the worlds not gonna end in our own life time, we can supplement this race to save the wolrd with knowledge(i hope),better understanding leadin to lesser mistakes and HOPE.
even though we may not be able to come up with specific answers to any specific questions, m sure, there 'll a better understanding of everythin and also, meaning to everything that we'll do later on in life.
THE BHOOT IN THE RIVER
PART-I
Its so difficult to sleep these days…
The head ache has been very bad today. She hates such nights. Because, on such nights, the bhoot comes in her dreams.She clings on to her mother who is sleeping peacefully beside her.The vey thought of the bhoot is so frightening. Now, the headache seems so light, for all she can feel is the beat of her own heart. It feels like her heart would come out of her chest. Now, there is a pain in her chest.
She closes eyes tight, trying to keep the bhoot away. But, she knows, the bhoot is still there, in the shadows of the room, in shadows of her mind .
The night crawls on ...
And she waits for the bhoot to come.
She had just come back from school. It was her first day. She was so scared to go, but the school turned out to be a very nice place. She had fun playing with so many kids.
Amma had asked her to remove her uniform. But she wanted to go to Keerthi’s house and show them her new uniform. Keerthi is one year younger than her and was not old enough to go to school. She was running to Keerthi’s house when she heard the sream. She stood still for a moment. Then she ran faster.
Something had happened to Keerthi’s appa.His hands and legs looked scary and he was crying in pain. She was standing beside Keerthi.They did not know what had happened. Keerthi’s amma was crying very loudly. Many people had come rushing in to the house. A man came running in and knocked Keerthi to the floor. She started crying. Everyone was shouting. And she stood there, thinking what had happened to Keerthi’s appa.
It was amma who told her that a bhoot had caught Keerthi’s appa when he was fishing. The bhoot made Keerthi’s appa cry in pain. The bhoot in the river.
Amma had taken Keerthi also to her house that day.She had to share her food with Keerthi for a whole week after that day. There was no food in Keerthi’s house and her ama was always crying. All of them had to remain hungry because there was very little food. Her own Appa was sick and had not gone to work for two days.
Two days later, she saw the bhoot. It had come in her dream. She had screamed and woken up amma that night. She had cried the whole night and did not let amma sleep.
That happened two years ago. Her eyes still closed, she lets go of her amma’s hand. Now, she knows, Keerthi’s appa got hurt because the factories threw acid in the river. There is no bhoot, her teachers tell her everyday.
There is no bhoot. She opens her eyes. And there, in the darkness, she sees it. As clear as ever. The bhoot! It is real and it is waiting for her.
She screams.
PART-II
Its so difficult to sit in class when one is sleepy. She is trying hard to keep her eyes open. The teacher is reciting a poem. All her classmates are repeating the lines after the teacher. She is sitting there, staring at the black board.
STD-III
15/03/05
TRY, TRY! NEVER CRY!!
she had tried her best, but the bhoot just would not go away. It is coming every night now. And it has started talking to her.
When everyone goes to sleep, she does not know whether she is sleeping or not .All she knows is the fear.
The first time the bhoot came near her, the stench was unbearable. It felt like she was near the factories. The same stench.
Then it whispered in her ear, ”I’ll make u cry like I made keerthi’s appa cry. I’ll make your appa cry too. I live in the factory he works in. Cant u smell me when u pass by the factory?” And it started laughing. She was so scared to move, even to close her eyes. Her heart was beating hard against her chest and she realized that she was shaking very badly. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She tried to scream, but could not.
The next day morning, she begged her appa not to go to the factory. She cried and she pleaded, but he did not listen to her. Amma tried explaining to her that if appa does not go to the Factory, they would not have any food to eat.
She is so scared for appa these days. She gets so tensed when appa doesn’t come home on time. She tried telling him, she tried telling everyone. But they don’t listen to her. They tell her there is no bhoot. No bhoot in the river and no bhoot in the factory. Nothing will happen to appa. He is safe.
But she knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the river. When people go fishing, it eats their flesh. And when they cry, it laughs at them.
She knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the factories. In the air. When people breathe, it eats up their throat and chest, like it eats up hers, every night.
One day, it’ll eat us all up.
She knows, because it told her. It tells her, every night.
But no one would listen to her.
Can’t they smell it’s stench when they go to the factories? Can’t they hear its deafening laughter when they fall sick and cry in pain?
She is crying now. The teacher is beside her. Headache, she tells the teacher. She takes her to a doctor who had come to the balvadi for a medical check up. He gives her two tablets. One for headache and the other for cold. ”you will be alright if u take these tablets every day morning. Now, don’t cry. Go to your class.” She is not moving. She is standing there, looking at the doctor. She starts crying again. The doctor puts his arm around her, ”what is it, child?”
She looks down. “Can you make the bhoot go away?”
---------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who are curious, the "she " in The Bhoot In The River lives in sipcot, cuddalore.If u really wanna know what she and the other kids are goin through in there, please visit the place urself.For no literature, no poetry, no reports and no photographs can recreate the trauma of being in sipcot, cuddalore.
U and me, alike are responsible for this deplorable state of affairs.
This story is the out come of the emotional turmoil i went through after visiting the palce and interacting with the kids.It was primarily written for me, myself to deal with my own emotions. As for 'her', she is with me always, like the bhoot is with her. And she keeps reminding me that, this life i lead is , but a meaningless act.
PART-I
Its so difficult to sleep these days…
The head ache has been very bad today. She hates such nights. Because, on such nights, the bhoot comes in her dreams.She clings on to her mother who is sleeping peacefully beside her.The vey thought of the bhoot is so frightening. Now, the headache seems so light, for all she can feel is the beat of her own heart. It feels like her heart would come out of her chest. Now, there is a pain in her chest.
She closes eyes tight, trying to keep the bhoot away. But, she knows, the bhoot is still there, in the shadows of the room, in shadows of her mind .
The night crawls on ...
And she waits for the bhoot to come.
She had just come back from school. It was her first day. She was so scared to go, but the school turned out to be a very nice place. She had fun playing with so many kids.
Amma had asked her to remove her uniform. But she wanted to go to Keerthi’s house and show them her new uniform. Keerthi is one year younger than her and was not old enough to go to school. She was running to Keerthi’s house when she heard the sream. She stood still for a moment. Then she ran faster.
Something had happened to Keerthi’s appa.His hands and legs looked scary and he was crying in pain. She was standing beside Keerthi.They did not know what had happened. Keerthi’s amma was crying very loudly. Many people had come rushing in to the house. A man came running in and knocked Keerthi to the floor. She started crying. Everyone was shouting. And she stood there, thinking what had happened to Keerthi’s appa.
It was amma who told her that a bhoot had caught Keerthi’s appa when he was fishing. The bhoot made Keerthi’s appa cry in pain. The bhoot in the river.
Amma had taken Keerthi also to her house that day.She had to share her food with Keerthi for a whole week after that day. There was no food in Keerthi’s house and her ama was always crying. All of them had to remain hungry because there was very little food. Her own Appa was sick and had not gone to work for two days.
Two days later, she saw the bhoot. It had come in her dream. She had screamed and woken up amma that night. She had cried the whole night and did not let amma sleep.
That happened two years ago. Her eyes still closed, she lets go of her amma’s hand. Now, she knows, Keerthi’s appa got hurt because the factories threw acid in the river. There is no bhoot, her teachers tell her everyday.
There is no bhoot. She opens her eyes. And there, in the darkness, she sees it. As clear as ever. The bhoot! It is real and it is waiting for her.
She screams.
PART-II
Its so difficult to sit in class when one is sleepy. She is trying hard to keep her eyes open. The teacher is reciting a poem. All her classmates are repeating the lines after the teacher. She is sitting there, staring at the black board.
STD-III
15/03/05
TRY, TRY! NEVER CRY!!
she had tried her best, but the bhoot just would not go away. It is coming every night now. And it has started talking to her.
When everyone goes to sleep, she does not know whether she is sleeping or not .All she knows is the fear.
The first time the bhoot came near her, the stench was unbearable. It felt like she was near the factories. The same stench.
Then it whispered in her ear, ”I’ll make u cry like I made keerthi’s appa cry. I’ll make your appa cry too. I live in the factory he works in. Cant u smell me when u pass by the factory?” And it started laughing. She was so scared to move, even to close her eyes. Her heart was beating hard against her chest and she realized that she was shaking very badly. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She tried to scream, but could not.
The next day morning, she begged her appa not to go to the factory. She cried and she pleaded, but he did not listen to her. Amma tried explaining to her that if appa does not go to the Factory, they would not have any food to eat.
She is so scared for appa these days. She gets so tensed when appa doesn’t come home on time. She tried telling him, she tried telling everyone. But they don’t listen to her. They tell her there is no bhoot. No bhoot in the river and no bhoot in the factory. Nothing will happen to appa. He is safe.
But she knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the river. When people go fishing, it eats their flesh. And when they cry, it laughs at them.
She knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the factories. In the air. When people breathe, it eats up their throat and chest, like it eats up hers, every night.
One day, it’ll eat us all up.
She knows, because it told her. It tells her, every night.
But no one would listen to her.
Can’t they smell it’s stench when they go to the factories? Can’t they hear its deafening laughter when they fall sick and cry in pain?
She is crying now. The teacher is beside her. Headache, she tells the teacher. She takes her to a doctor who had come to the balvadi for a medical check up. He gives her two tablets. One for headache and the other for cold. ”you will be alright if u take these tablets every day morning. Now, don’t cry. Go to your class.” She is not moving. She is standing there, looking at the doctor. She starts crying again. The doctor puts his arm around her, ”what is it, child?”
She looks down. “Can you make the bhoot go away?”
---------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who are curious, the "she " in The Bhoot In The River lives in sipcot, cuddalore.If u really wanna know what she and the other kids are goin through in there, please visit the place urself.For no literature, no poetry, no reports and no photographs can recreate the trauma of being in sipcot, cuddalore.
U and me, alike are responsible for this deplorable state of affairs.
This story is the out come of the emotional turmoil i went through after visiting the palce and interacting with the kids.It was primarily written for me, myself to deal with my own emotions. As for 'her', she is with me always, like the bhoot is with her. And she keeps reminding me that, this life i lead is , but a meaningless act.
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