THE BHOOT IN THE RIVER


PART-I



Its so difficult to sleep these days…
The head ache has been very bad today. She hates such nights. Because, on such nights, the bhoot comes in her dreams.She clings on to her mother who is sleeping peacefully beside her.The vey thought of the bhoot is so frightening. Now, the headache seems so light, for all she can feel is the beat of her own heart. It feels like her heart would come out of her chest. Now, there is a pain in her chest.
She closes eyes tight, trying to keep the bhoot away. But, she knows, the bhoot is still there, in the shadows of the room, in shadows of her mind .

The night crawls on ...
And she waits for the bhoot to come.


She had just come back from school. It was her first day. She was so scared to go, but the school turned out to be a very nice place. She had fun playing with so many kids.
Amma had asked her to remove her uniform. But she wanted to go to Keerthi’s house and show them her new uniform. Keerthi is one year younger than her and was not old enough to go to school. She was running to Keerthi’s house when she heard the sream. She stood still for a moment. Then she ran faster.
Something had happened to Keerthi’s appa.His hands and legs looked scary and he was crying in pain. She was standing beside Keerthi.They did not know what had happened. Keerthi’s amma was crying very loudly. Many people had come rushing in to the house. A man came running in and knocked Keerthi to the floor. She started crying. Everyone was shouting. And she stood there, thinking what had happened to Keerthi’s appa.
It was amma who told her that a bhoot had caught Keerthi’s appa when he was fishing. The bhoot made Keerthi’s appa cry in pain. The bhoot in the river.

Amma had taken Keerthi also to her house that day.She had to share her food with Keerthi for a whole week after that day. There was no food in Keerthi’s house and her ama was always crying. All of them had to remain hungry because there was very little food. Her own Appa was sick and had not gone to work for two days.
Two days later, she saw the bhoot. It had come in her dream. She had screamed and woken up amma that night. She had cried the whole night and did not let amma sleep.

That happened two years ago. Her eyes still closed, she lets go of her amma’s hand. Now, she knows, Keerthi’s appa got hurt because the factories threw acid in the river. There is no bhoot, her teachers tell her everyday.

There is no bhoot. She opens her eyes. And there, in the darkness, she sees it. As clear as ever. The bhoot! It is real and it is waiting for her.
She screams.


PART-II


Its so difficult to sit in class when one is sleepy. She is trying hard to keep her eyes open. The teacher is reciting a poem. All her classmates are repeating the lines after the teacher. She is sitting there, staring at the black board.

STD-III
15/03/05
TRY, TRY! NEVER CRY!!

she had tried her best, but the bhoot just would not go away. It is coming every night now. And it has started talking to her.
When everyone goes to sleep, she does not know whether she is sleeping or not .All she knows is the fear.
The first time the bhoot came near her, the stench was unbearable. It felt like she was near the factories. The same stench.
Then it whispered in her ear, ”I’ll make u cry like I made keerthi’s appa cry. I’ll make your appa cry too. I live in the factory he works in. Cant u smell me when u pass by the factory?” And it started laughing. She was so scared to move, even to close her eyes. Her heart was beating hard against her chest and she realized that she was shaking very badly. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. She tried to scream, but could not.
The next day morning, she begged her appa not to go to the factory. She cried and she pleaded, but he did not listen to her. Amma tried explaining to her that if appa does not go to the Factory, they would not have any food to eat.
She is so scared for appa these days. She gets so tensed when appa doesn’t come home on time. She tried telling him, she tried telling everyone. But they don’t listen to her. They tell her there is no bhoot. No bhoot in the river and no bhoot in the factory. Nothing will happen to appa. He is safe.

But she knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the river. When people go fishing, it eats their flesh. And when they cry, it laughs at them.
She knows, the bhoot is real and it is in the factories. In the air. When people breathe, it eats up their throat and chest, like it eats up hers, every night.
One day, it’ll eat us all up.

She knows, because it told her. It tells her, every night.
But no one would listen to her.
Can’t they smell it’s stench when they go to the factories? Can’t they hear its deafening laughter when they fall sick and cry in pain?

She is crying now. The teacher is beside her. Headache, she tells the teacher. She takes her to a doctor who had come to the balvadi for a medical check up. He gives her two tablets. One for headache and the other for cold. ”you will be alright if u take these tablets every day morning. Now, don’t cry. Go to your class.” She is not moving. She is standing there, looking at the doctor. She starts crying again. The doctor puts his arm around her, ”what is it, child?”
She looks down. “Can you make the bhoot go away?”

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For those of you who are curious, the "she " in The Bhoot In The River lives in sipcot, cuddalore.If u really wanna know what she and the other kids are goin through in there, please visit the place urself.For no literature, no poetry, no reports and no photographs can recreate the trauma of being in sipcot, cuddalore.
U and me, alike are responsible for this deplorable state of affairs.
This story is the out come of the emotional turmoil i went through after visiting the palce and interacting with the kids.It was primarily written for me, myself to deal with my own emotions. As for 'her', she is with me always, like the bhoot is with her. And she keeps reminding me that, this life i lead is , but a meaningless act.

Monday, March 19, 2007

She... (Kali)


These two images essentially represents the same. It is believed that the one where Kali is copulating with Shiva came first in history, which was later modified in to a socially acceptable


image of her stepping on her husband ! From what i have read, the first image is the one worshipped by tantric hindus while the latter one is worshipped by vedic hindus.

A careful examination makes one wonder whether these changes, this taming of the female spirit of Kali started with the Aryan invasion of India... some literature seems to agree..
Painters and artists of latter days try their very best to cover her nakedness with the skirt of hands and garland of male heads...
yet...Kali seems to crawl out of the carpet we shooed her beneath...with all her nakedness, her desires, her wrath , she comes out to question this superficial culture we have build ...
the society of the do - gooder is suddenly looking for its roots..
everything that we have been trying to hide, everything that we have been suppressing comes out and there is no escape...

Although, strangely, "sarva mangala mangalye sarvartha sadige thrayambike devi narayani namasthuthe" was one of the very first prayers that i learnt as a child, and the only one i remember, i dint know much about the She- goddess of India and how her free spirit was curbed by the norms of our society.
I grew up, very close to a durga temple, and my play school was right in the temple compound..and i played hide and seek in the temple...Yet, i had no clue bout the brutal rape of durga ,by our culture...
I used to like this small temple better than the other big temple near my house.Some how, i liked the fact that this small temple had durga and she is a female, who wud understand me better and of course, also the fact that i knew the pujaris of this temple and they let me play there !
later on... i started questioning the concept of GOD and in teenage rebellion, stopped going to temples, much to mothers dismay..But i did occasionally visit this durga temple... some how, the lady in there dint seem like god..and come on, i literally grew up there!
The last time i went to the temple, it dint feel like my old play house anymore..they had renovated the temple and premises and it looked like a new - age temple.I dint go in..
If the ol' lady was still in there, she would understand... I thought...
God is still an enigma to me .You can call me a curious agnostic whatever.But i have come to believe that looking at gods , in terms of human history is one of the most entertaining and rewarding experiences.
Male gods have never been my cup of tea, except of Hanuman ,who is my hero!

It is the female goddesses who captured my imagination like no other...

She is at once, the good and the bad, she takes life and gives life, completing the circle..

Also, the shift from a matriarchal society to one that is predominantly patriarchal ,can be clearly seen in the changes in the stories, worship and folklore ,concerning the she-goddess..

Like in the pictures above, A 'woman on top' image of a goddess is not something our patriarchal society could digest and in time, it was changed.It is believed that this change came after the Aryan invasion of India.The society that existed here before that, most probably was matriarchal in nature and worshipped a wild ,untamed goddesses who was representative of the wilderness around them.Decades after decades, saw the taming of the devi, who came to be known in a multitude of names and shapes.Kali came to be known as the most ferocious, most wild form of the devi, which every avatar of her could become.The she- goddess, is given a more motherly, more benevolent mask by the educated civilised society..for we need a goddess who goes by our ethics, our morals !
Its funny, how these moral values can come pouring down the sky one fine morning..
Yet, Kali could not be erased from our minds and our customs... She still exists, as a questioning reminder of our past.
we can observe the inner conflicts of a society here, not letting go of what we are, yet pretending to be something else...
and the many fold manifestations of this inner conflict can be seen in the dark secrets of the Indian society ,that surfaces now and then, in the form of child prostitutes, suicides, murders, violence,rape...

Village goddesses all across the nation, are forms of Devi, and once a year ,Kali takes form and the village celebrates with her, glorifying sex, death, decay, and everything that is considered the bad and ugly....
I personally feel that this concept is amazing.This dual nature.The god and the devil as one , inside all of us. Modern stories , for the lack of a devil in our society, puts kali in that place, many a times. But Kali is not the devil.She is the ultimate divine being in this Universe! She is the goddess to whom the gods run to when they are in trouble.She is the consort of Shiva.It is she who makes this hermit alive, makes him aware of the materialistic world, and hence, spins the wheel of time.It is these confusions, these conflicts between tid-bits of culture that we have acquired from everywhere possible , that makes Kali endearing ,exciting and interesting.


The collective feminine divinity has many manifestations, and its no surprise that one of them, is the mother earth, whose freedom, power, resources, desires, fertility and life it self has been robbed of her...but beware! when she takes the form of Kali, revenge will be hers...
When she regains her fertility from our blood, fruits of love will seed the earth once again...

If you r wondering ,why i am writing bout Kali all of a sudden, i think it is justified... The reason is that i found a book called, the 'book of kali' by Seema Mohanty recently and really enjoyed reading it.It is very well written and i feel it is written like a woman, for a woman, about a woman ! i need to read a lot more to understand the implications of this female divinity and her change through time , but this book has helped clear some doubts and sprout seeds for contemplation..
from the book...
"Devi, the Goddess, embodies nature.Nature is wild and free until culture come along, disciplines and domesticates her with laws,ethics and values.The forest becomes a field as culture decides what must be in and what must be out."

"In kali's presence, the most unappealing aspects of cosmos reclaim their divinity"

"She is neither beautiful nor loving; she is dark,gaunt,and bloodthirsty.Her form takes one by surprise-frightening at first,then confounding.Kali forces a re-examination of all preconceived notions associated with divinity"

"Beneath the mask,beneath the self-denial and self discipline exists a Kali in all of us.

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